The Woes of Mrs Malfoy
by fuzzyfishbowl
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy goes insane, and is reunited with an old lover. FINISHED
1. Fire

Part One:  
  
"No! NO! Get away from me!"  
  
"Don't try to fight me, Narcissa."  
  
"Leave me alone, I didn't do anything!"   
  
"Crucio!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Narcissa shot up in her bed, shaking. Oh, God, that dream again. The cruel laughter, so familiar, was still ringing in her ears.  
  
It took her a minute to remember that he was gone. She lay back down in the bed, still shaking. It's okay, he's in Azkaban now, she told herself. He can't hurt me now.  
  
But she knew that it wouldn't be long before he got out. The dementors were abandoning the prison, and Narcissa knew that another breakout was being planned. And he would be one of the escapees.  
  
No!  
  
She shot out of bed and stared around the large, dark room. She'd been sharing this room with him for nearly 20 years. She'd never been alone for such a long time...sure, there were those nights when he wouldn't come home, but those were scattered, and he was never away for more then a day at a time.  
  
A king always loves his castle.  
  
Narcissa hated this place. This large manor that she felt trapped in. Where she was so unhappy.  
  
She crossed the room and opened up the door to her husband's huge closet. Inside, waiting for him, hung his expensive robes, cloaks, and Italian leather shoes. All, of course, in black. Narcissa pulled a robe off the rack and flung it to the floor. Then another. Another. She ripped the racks off the walls.  
  
Fuck him and his expensive robes and shoes! She gathered up as much of them as she could in her arms and stumbled to the bathroom. The huge, dark bathroom with a huge tub. She threw the clothes in the tub.  
  
My wand. I need my wand. She went back to her nightstand and grabbed it. She kept it next to her while she slept, just in case...   
  
Back to the bathroom, to the tub full of clothes. She pointed her wand at the robes, though she wished she could be pointing it at his heart. She muttered a spell, and blue flames shot at the robes. She stared at the tub as the robes and shoes, so precious to the man she hated, exploded with a burst of blue flames.  
  
But the fire soon spread. Narcissa fled out of the bathroom, out of the room, and through the dark house. She thought the house was so scary, so big and dark...and evil.  
  
She dashed out the door, not caring that she was only wearing her sleeping gown and a robe. No slippers or anything. But it didn't matter: the manor was hidden, there were no neighbors for miles.  
  
She stood a distance away from the house, watching as the blue flames spread. Suddenly, she smiled. For the first time in years, she gave a real smile. And then, she was laughing. This house of evil was finally dead, engulfed in flames. No castle for the damn king now! she thought as she cackled. She feel to her knees, laughing.  
  
But suddenly, the laugh caught in her throat. As suddenly as she began laughing, she began to sob. Because she'd forgotten something inside, the most important thing in her life.  
  
Draco. 


	2. Ashes to Ashes

Part Two:  
  
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."   
  
Narcissa watched through her thin black veil as the small, black marble box, encrusted with silver snakes, was lowered into the ground. Her son, or the remains of him, were in the box.  
  
I killed him. All my fault.  
  
But nobody knew that. By the time Narcissa had gotten help, the fire had gone out...and Malfoy Manor was destroyed. Not burned to the ground, but basically uninhabitable: the rooms were charred. They'd found Draco's remains, a pile of ashes, in his bed.  
  
Everyone at the funeral was looking at Narcissa with the deepest sympathy. Poor, brave woman: her dear husband in husband, her house destroyed, and her son dead. But she managed to keep her head held high, wearing a look similar to that of a wounded Princess Diana. So brave.  
  
Ha! If they only knew the truth, Narcissa thought. The box sank into the ground, and she wanted to scream. My baby! The same "baby" that made her want to cry whenever she looked at him. Because she could see the horrible truth: he was going to be just like his father.  
  
But now he was dead.  
  
Mrs. Goyle and her sons Tristan and Gregory, a friend of Draco's, were there. So were Mrs. Crabbe and her son Vincent, another friend of Draco's. Both of their husbands were in Azkaban, too, but at least they had their sons and their homes. Mrs. Goyle and Mrs. Crabbe were supposed to be friends with Narcissa, and had both comforted her. But Narcissa didn't particularly care for them.  
  
Narcissa saw a blond-haired girl sobbing. Must be Draco's girlfriend, Pansy, she thought. Narcissa was reminded of a younger version of herself...  
  
She felt an arm go around her shoulder. It was her sister, Bellatrix, in a thick veil. Even though everyone at the funeral was connected to the Death Eaters, she couldn't risk being seen. Narcissa hated her sister, but she'd never revealed that. She and Bella had always been close, it had been Andromeda that had been the outcast.  
  
The funeral party began to disperse as the box reached it's destination six feet below. Dirt was being throw on it. Narcissa's knees were trembling, as were her chin, but she kept her emotions in check...as always.   
  
"Narcissa...I have to go back now," Bella said. "Write if you need anything, your owl knows where I am."  
  
"Thank you." Narcissa hugged her older sister, knowing that she'd never take her up on the offer. Just go away.  
  
There were many BANGS as the older attendees Disapperated from the funeral, and many of Draco's friends and their family's headed down the hill. Narcissa caught a glimpse of a young woman in a veil similar to her own, with straight black hair. Must be a friend of Draco's, Narcissa assumed, and she headed down the hill.  
  
She was staying with the Crabbe's, "Just until things turn around," Ophelia Crabbe said with a wink. Her husband was going to be in the next breakout, too. It made Narcissa's stomach lurch to think about it...  
  
The Crabbe's had thoughtfully offered to throw a small gathering after the funeral. Just some of the attendees, with some food. Though she knew she should be greeting the guests, Narcissa hid in a corner, sitting in one of the Crabbe's plush chairs. Most of the people came over to hug her or shake her hand. Poor Narcissa Malfoy...  
  
Suddenly, the mysterious girl from the funeral appeared, with the black veil. "Oh, um...you must've been a friend of Draco's," Narcissa said. The veiled figure shook her head. "Oh...well, who are you?"  
  
The figure removed her veil. The face...so familiar...Andromeda?  
  
"Hello, Aunt Narcissa." 


	3. Memories

Part Three:  
  
"Nymphadora?" Narcissa stared at the girl. Her niece nodded. "Why do you...?" Then she remembered: her niece was a metamorphagus: she could change how she looked. And right now, she was the image of her late mother. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to my cousin's funeral."  
  
Narcissa suddenly felt angry. She hadn't seen this girl since she was four, since Narcissa had told Andromeda that she wanted nothing to do with her or her Mudblood husband anymore. "Why? So you could laugh at me? You never even knew Draco!"  
  
Nymphadora sighed. "Aunt Narcissa, I didn't come to laugh at you. I just...wanted to see you."  
  
Narcissa didn't buy it. Nymphadora sat down. "I never knew Draco." Narcissa snorted. Of course not: Lucius would've never allowed his son to associate with his Mudblood relatives. "But I'm sorry for your loss."  
  
"I'll bet you are." The words were bitter and cold.  
  
"What happened?"   
  
Narcissa felt a stab of fear. Did she suspect the truth? "The house caught fire. I managed to get out...but Draco didn't."  
  
"Blue fire?"  
  
The stab turned into an almost blinding pain. Nobody knew that the fire had been blue: had they, they would've known that the fire was no accident.  
  
"Aunt Narcissa, I was on watch that night. I...saw what happened."  
  
"Get out," Narcissa whispered dangerously. "Get out, you little Mudblood..."  
  
"Talk to me. Tell me what he did to you." Narcissa knew what she meant, but she acted ignorant.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," she hissed. "Now get out of here."  
  
Nymphadora stood up. "I know the truth."  
  
"GET OUT!" Everyone turned to stare, and Narcissa could tell that her niece would have to leave now...rather then get caught by Death Eaters.  
  
"I'll be seeing you again." And with a BANG, Nymphadora was gone.  
  
Everyone pretended that they hadn't seen anything, and continued to leave Narcissa alone. She closed her eyes and sank back into the chair. The horrible memories claimed her...  
  
Narcissa had been married off to Lucius Malfoy at the age of seventeen. Her parents hadn't even allowed her to finish school. "You'll be set for life if you marry a Malfoy!" her mother had said. "You don't need to finish school!" They were scared that Narcissa would make the same "mistake" as her older sister, Andromeda, and marry a Muggle-born. So when 26-year-old Lucius Malfoy had made arrangements to marry her and give the family 100,000 galleons, it was a deal.  
  
For you see, that branch of Blacks weren't as well off as their relatives. The Blacks of London had the family house, and the family fortune. Narcissa would see her cousins, Sirius (who was two years behind her in school) and Regulus (who began at Hogwarts the year she left) in their nice new robes, while she had to wear Andromeda's old ones. Now, the Blacks of Liverpool would have it made.  
  
Narcissa didn't even meet Lucius until the day before the wedding. She was immediatly frightened of him, with his cold grey eyes with their cold stare. He would never love her, she knew. Not the same way as Remus did...  
  
"Nonsence, Narcissa!" her father had yelled when she'd spoken of him. "A half-breed! Honestly! And the Lupins are so poor...no, you will restore honor in this family and marry that Lucius Malfoy. Lord knows that that sister of yours shamed us by marrying the Mudblood..."  
  
So, Narcissa had married Lucius. Unwilling, she was thrust into a life that would make her miserable and bitter, with a stare almost as cold as her husband's.  
  
Narcissa couldn't sit there any longer. If she did, more memories would come back to her...like what had happened on her wedding night...she shuddered and stood up. Ophelia Crabbe spotted her and went over to her. "Do you need anything?"  
  
"No...I think I'll just go to bed."  
  
"Just let me know." Narcissa felt a stab of guilt: Ophelia was being so nice to her, and she was so ungrateful.   
  
She was staying in one of the guest rooms. Though Ophelia had offered her the largest, nicest one, Narcissa had insisted on a smaller one. "I'm enough of a burden already. What if you have relatives coming over?" The truth was, Narcissa liked sleeping in a small room: it didn't remind her of the tomb that she'd called her bedroom for 20 years.  
  
Before she could think about the past anymore, Narcissa slipped into a blessed sleep...  
  
But the dreams came again.  
  
She was on her knees in front of a tall figure, begging. "Please, Lucius, have mercy."  
  
Her husband laughed, a horrible, deadly cackle. "Have mercy? Why, Narcissa, you don't know me very well, do you, dear?"  
  
"Lucius, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" But her sentence was interuppted as Lucius slapped her in the face. She clutched her cheek and stared at the ground, fighting back tears. "Lucius, please..."  
  
"Shut UP!" Four hard blows to the head knocked Narcissa to the ground, sobbing. Lucius had lost his usual cool calmness: he was showing his maniac, angry side, the part that he reserved for his wife. He grabbed her by her blonde hair and began to drag her down the hallway, as she kicked and screamed.  
  
When the reached the bedroom, Lucius pulled her up and threw her into the bed. He got on top of her and began hitting her again...it wasn't as bad as the Crucio curse, but she knew what was coming next...  
  
But she woke up, in a cold sweat again, before it happened.  
  
And she couldn't hold in her emotion anymore. When she realized where she was, in the Crabbe's small guest room, she began to sob...in relief and sadness. 


	4. Old Lover

Part Four:  
  
Narcissa stared around her at the unfamiliar place. She hadn't been to Diagon Alley in years: Lucius had always gone with Draco to get his school things, while she'd stay at the manor. In fact, the only time that Narcissa had really gone out, besides to other Death Eaters homes, was to the Quidditch World Cup two years before. Draco had been so excited...  
  
She fought back tears as she went into a store called Madam Roggo's Foreign Objects. Ophelia had been wanting to get some shopping done, and had given Narcissa a list. Rather reluctantly: Mrs. Crabbe had been planning on sending a servant, but Narcissa, who was sick of being in the Crabbe's large house, was more then happy to volunteer.  
  
"Are you sure, dear?" Ophelia asked. Then she laughed. "I mean, I didn't know you'd ever gone shopping before!"  
  
Narcissa had taken offense to that comment, even though it was true. "For your information, I've done plenty of shopping." She was lying through her teeth, but what did it matter?  
  
"Alright, alright, don't get so defensive." Narcissa could tell that Ophelia was getting sick of having the guest in her home: her formerly warm and welcome attitude had been replaced with a polite stiffness. She thrust the list at Narcissa. "Here, knock yourself out."  
  
Narcissa wasn't at all offended that Ophelia hadn't wanted to come with her: in fact, she was downright relieved. She needed some time alone.  
  
But now that she had arrived at Diagon Alley, she wished she'd at least brought a servant with her. She hadn't thought shopping would be very hard, but she didn't know where anything was, so it made things a bit more difficult.  
  
As she scanned the shelves for powdered Spanish rat (she hated to image what Ophelia could possibly need that for) when she spotted the back of a man's head. He had sleeked back, very light blond hair, and was wearing a heavy black cloak, in spite of the warm day. Narcissa gasped...no, it couldn't be him, the breakout wasn't planned for another two weeks, at least...forgetting her mission, Narcissa backed quickly out of the store...  
  
And straight into someone.  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Narcissa mumbled, turnign around. And gasping at the person she'd bumped into.  
  
Remus Lupin.  
  
"Narcissa?" he asked, looking surprised. He forgot the things he'd dropped on the ground.  
  
"Um...h-hello, Remus." She looked down at his dropped items. "I'm sorry, let me-"  
  
"No, no, I've got it," Remus said quickly, bending down to pick up the basket of potion ingrediants. Narcissa took this moment to examine him. He looked just as her son had said: light brown hair that was greying, a tired face, shabby robes. Actually, Draco (being the snob that he was), had put more emphasis on the sorry state of his former professor's robes, but he'd said a little about his facial features.  
  
When Remus straightened up, he looked at Narcissa again. And cleared his throat.  
  
Narcissa spoke first. "How are you, Remus?"  
  
"Um...fine, just fine." Narcissa knew, from what she had heard from her husband and his Death Eater friends, that Lupin was doing a lot of work for some anti-Voldemort group. Narcissa noticed that his eyes were a bit bloodshot. Remus cleared his throat again after an akward silence. "Well, I...heard about what happened. I'm sorry." He sounded sincere.  
  
"Thank you." Narcissa felt the tears filling her eyes again.  
  
"It...must be very hard." Remus seemed very uncomfortable. Narcissa thought that he would leave, and she couldn't bear the thought.   
  
"Would you like to grab a drink with me?" she asked quickly.  
  
"A-a drink?" Remus seemed very surprised at the offer. Well, he had every right to be surprised. She hadn't spoken to him since that night twenty years ago...she could tell that he would've rather refused, but he was too polite. "Um, alright. Yes, we can got get a drink."  
  
They walked to the Leaky Cauldron in silence. Narcissa hadn't been in the pub since she was seventeen, and it hadn't changed much. She thanked God that it was dark in there: she didn't want anyone she knew to see her with Lupin and think anything. Thankfully, Remus led her to a small table in the back: he didn't want anyone to see him just as much as she wanted anyone to see her. Being a werewolf and all, he wasn't very popular in the public eye.  
  
They didn't speak until they'd both ordered their drinks: Narcissa a red currant rum (she'd been a heavy drinker since the day she'd married), Remus a gillywater (it was the afternoon, after all). Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, until Remus said, "Wow. It's been, what, nineteen years now?"  
  
Narcissa nodded. "Nearly twenty."  
  
Remus nodded, swirling his finger around his drink. "I wish I weren't lying when I'd said that things were fine. But I was."  
  
Narcissa looked at him. "Oh?"  
  
"Well...did you hear about Sirius?"  
  
Of course, he was bound to come up. Narcissa nodded. "Yes...I've spoken to Bellatrix. She was very pleased with herself." The last sentence was spoken in a bitter tone. "I'm sorry." She knew that her cousin had been good friends with Remus.  
  
Remus sighed. "Well, losing a friend isn't as bad as losing a son, I suppose." He saw Narcissa's eyes fill with tears again. "Oh...I'm sorry..."  
  
"Remus...it's all my fault."  
  
"Now, Narcissa," Remus said gently, patting her hand. "You were trying to save yourself. It was probably too late for him by the time you got out. Don't beat yourself up over-"  
  
"No!" Narcissa cried with a sniff. "I was the one who started the fire!"  
  
Remus gaped at her. "No, Narcissa, you-"  
  
She suddenly felt very angry. "Don't tell me you don't know the truth, Remus. I know that you run with my niece, in that little Order of the Bird thing of yours. She told me that she knew what really happened, so-"  
  
"Narcissa, Tonks never told me."  
  
Narcissa snorted. "Tonks? Of course, the little Mu-the brat would go by her nasty surname."  
  
Remus almost smiled, but he stopped himself. "Narcissa...you started the fire?"  
  
Narcissa nodded sadly. "I wasn't even thinking about Draco. I just...wanted to destroy his things." Remus could tell that by "him", she meant her husband. He frowned.  
  
"He wasn't good to you, then?"  
  
Narcissa was suddenly thrown back into the past again...  
  
It was a warm March evening, and she was walking down the cooridor after a visit with the headmaster and her parents. They had officially taken her out of the school, and now she was going to her dormitory, for the last time, to get her things.  
  
"Narcissa!" The seventeen-year-old girl was distracted from her thoughts by the sound of her younger boyfriend's voice. She turned around and saw fifteen-year-old Remus Lupin running towards her. He reached her, and gasped out, "Tell me it's not true!"  
  
"Tell you what's not true?" she demanded icily. She had been dreading this moment, had hoped she could leave without having to do it: say goodbye to the boy she loved.  
  
"Everyone's saying that you're dropping out of school, that your parents are here and you're leaving." Narcissa nodded, and began to walk away. But Remus wouldn't let her off that easy. He fell instep with her. "Why?"  
  
"I'm getting married." She said it with a sharp indifference. She knew how hard the words would hit him.  
  
The shock was evident in his voice. "Married? What? To who?"  
  
"Lucius Malfoy." She tried to make her voice proud, like she was the luckiest girl in England.  
  
"Malfoy?" The 26-year-old was already well known (and hated) in the magical community. "Why?"  
  
"Because he asked me to." Narcissa didn't look at him. She spoke like she was speaking to a stupid little kid.  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
The words shook Narcissa up inside. She stopped walking, as did Remus. She couldn't avoid his gaze any longer. "He's...nice." Narcissa had only met Malfoy once, at a dinner party. He wasn't exactly "nice", but she hadn't seen his mean side...yet.  
  
"You didn't answer my question."  
  
Narcissa shook off the young man's sharp words. "It's none of your business, Lupin. You're just jealous."  
  
"How could you do this to me?" he demanded, causing her to jump. Lupin wasn't much of a yeller, but his voice was very loud now. "What we have, Narcissa, it's-"  
  
"Never going to make it." Narcissa spoke as calmly as she could, but she could feel her bottom lip quiver. "Look, it's not like we have much of a chance in the future, is there? You're-"  
  
"Whatever, Narcissa," Remus said quickly, not wanting to get into how he was a poor werewolf. He narrowed his eyes. "I reckon Sirius was right about you. You're nothing but a Slytherin snob."  
  
"That's right, Remus. You should've remembered that." With that, Narcissa took off at almost a run. Remus didn't run after her, but he left her with these parting words:  
  
"You'll be miserable, Narcissa. You're walking into a trap!" She replied by sticking her middle finger up at him, a crude gesture that required no words.  
  
Now, she looked across the table at Remus. The only boy she'd ever loved. And he'd been right: she'd walked right into a trap. Ever since her wedding night, she'd relived that last conversation in her head. She wished she'd told him the truth, and said, "Remus, I love you. Take me away from all this." But it had been too late, damage done. She never thought she'd see him again.  
  
Remus gave her a gentle smile. "I'm sorry I was right," he said sadly, as if reading her thoughts.  
  
"Oh, Remus," she whispered. "I wish I'd never left that night."  
  
"What did he do to you, Narcissa?"  
  
It was the same words that her niece had spoken to her, just days before. They had angered her then, but when Remus said them...  
  
"He..." She couldn't say it. She broke down into sobs and put her head on the table. In a quick motion, Remus moved to her side of the table, putting his arm around her.  
  
"There, there," he said. "It's okay now. He's in Azkaban."  
  
Narcissa looked at him, her eyes slightly puffy. "Not for long," she whispered, her voice full of fear. "There's a breakout planned-"  
  
"What?"  
  
Narcissa wanted to slap herself. Stupid! He was a member of an anti-Voldemort group, and she was giving him valuable information...about her Death Eater husband! But when she looked into his concerned eyes, she didn't care.  
  
"Do you know when, Narcissa?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. I just know that it'll be soon: within the next few weeks, I think." She blinked. "Oh, God, Remus. He knows where I am! He's going to come after me!"  
  
"No, he's not." Remus stood up. "Come on. You'll need to fetch your things: you're coming to stay with me. I'll protect you."  
  
Narcissa hesitated. After all, she'd just betrayed her husband. But what had he ever done for her, anyway? And here was the man she'd loved, never stopped loving, offering to protect her. She couldn't refuse.  
  
She stood up. "Okay. Let's go." 


	5. Nightmares

Part Five:  
  
Narcissa managed to avoid Ophelia when she went back to the Crabbe's to get her things. She left a short, vague note, saying thank you for your hospitality, I'll be going to stay with a friend now. Narcissa had a feeling that Ophelia wouldn't mind.  
  
Remus took her to his small house, hidden in the outskirts of London. Though it looked shabby on the outside, it was very nice on the inside: a pleasant change from the large, dark house that the Crabbes had. Remus led her to the biggest bedroom of the two in the house. "You can stay in here, if you like..." Narcissa looked around. This "master bedroom" was almost the same size as the "small" guestroom she'd stayed in at the Crabbe's. She smiled at her host.   
  
"It's perfect."  
  
That night, Narcissa was lying awake, thinking about everything that had been happening lately. She could hear voices downstairs, Remus's and someone eles's that sounded familiar. They both sounded really mad. As quietly as she could, Narcissa snuck out of bed and listened to what was going on.  
  
"I can't believe you invited her to stay here!" an angry female voice was yelling. "She can't be trusted, she's on their side!" With boiling anger, Narcissa recognized the voice as her niece, Nymphadora.  
  
"Tonks, will you be quiet?" Remus hissed. "She's right down the hall, she'll hear us!"  
  
"She's hear about EVERYTHING! Honestly, Remus, she could be a spy or something!"  
  
"Whose she going to report to? She's going to be here the whole time."  
  
"What about when you're on duty?" Nymphadora (she calls herself "Tonks", Narcissa remembered with disgust) demanded. There was a silence, until Remus came up with an answer.  
  
"I could have someone from the Order stay here. Make sure she doesn't leave or anything."  
  
Narcissa had had it. She stormed down the hall and into the living room. She pointed an accusing finger at a surprised looking Remus. "Now, you listen to me, Remus Lupin! It was your idea in the first place to have me stay here! If you don't trust me, then why did you even bother?"  
  
"Narcissa..." Remus sputtered, still surprised by her appearance. "I didn't mean it like that."  
  
"The hell you didn't!" Narcissa stomped down the hall again. "That's it, I'm leaving!" She went into her room and began throwing the things she'd already unpacked back into her trunk.  
  
"Narcissa?" Remus appeared in her doorway. "Come on, don't..."  
  
She turned to him again, still furious. "Why did you invite me to stay, anyway? Huh? We hadn't even spoken in 20 years, and now..."  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you were safe, that's all."  
  
Narcissa was so sick of this. Everyone was lying to her, and they all had a hidden agenda. "Remus, you know I'm not stupid." She realized the truth. "You want information from me, don't you?"  
  
Remus sighed and sat down on the bed. "Yes, but that's only a part of it. I know that you could be a valuable asset to the Or-to our group." Narcissa narrowed her eyes at him. "But," he added quickly, "I was also worried about you." He took Narcissa's arm. "Please, don't be upset."  
  
Narcissa sighed. She knew she couldn't stay mad at him. She closed her trunk. "I'm not." She started out of the room. "Where is that niece of mine? I'd like to give her a piece of my mind..."  
  
"She's gone," Remus said, following her out of the room. "She Apparated after you left the room."  
  
Narcissa turned back around. "Oh."  
  
"Look, it's late. I'm pretty tired, and I'm sure you are, too. How about we go to bed now?"  
  
Narcissa nodded. "Okay. Well, good night, Remus."  
  
Remus began to leave the room, but she called him back. "Um...thanks," was all she could say.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
And Narcissa watched as her old lover walked out of the room. She closed the door behind him and fell onto her bed again.  
  
That night as she slept, she had another one of her old nightmares. This one was what had happened on her wedding night.  
  
Everything had been going well that day. The wedding had been lavish and beautiful, and all her friends and relatives had gone. She remembered that her sister Andromeda was even there, and she was pregnaut. She hadn't brought her Mudblood husband, though, and she wasn't talking to any of the family. She just gave Narcissa a quick kiss on the cheek at the reception, handed her a present, and said, "Congratulations."  
  
The Blacks of London had been there. Aunt Willica had been very proud. "Another good marriage," she'd said as she congratulated her niece. "At least you and Bellatrix have brought honor to the family." She'd shot Andromeda a dirty look, and Narcissa guessed that was the reason why she'd left early.  
  
Sirius had been there, and the sight of him made Narcissa's heart ache: it made her think of Remus. Sirius hadn't said a word to her, and Aunt Willica had yelled at him when he refused to congratulate her. Narcissa heard him say later, "Why would I congratulate her? For breaking my best friend's heart, or for ruining her own life?" He'd been sent away early.  
  
Lucius was nice to all the guests at the reception, but every time they were alone, he'd complain. "Can't we leave now?"  
  
"It's my family," Narcissa had argued feebily. By six o'clock, she gave in: Lucius made the excuse that they had to be in Paris by 8, and internation Apparation was difficult.  
  
They arrived at a fancy wizard hotel (disguised as an old warehouse to fool Muggles) that evening, and were taken to their hotel room. Narcissa had been hoping on seeing the sights of Paris: she'd never been there, and had always wanted to go. Remus had told her once about it, about a vacation he'd gone on...she'd onced dreamt about going to Paris with him, but it would never happen now...  
  
But as soon as they were unpacked, Lucius grabbed her roughly and threw her onto the bed. He jumped on top of her and ripped at her wedding dress. "How do you get this fucking thing off?"  
  
"Wait! That's my mother's!" She was shocked when she recieved a sharp slap in the face.   
  
"I don't give a fuck if it's my mother's, just get the damn thing off. NOW!" He watched impatiently as Narcissa carefully took off her wedding clothes. Then he threw her back down onto the bed again, impatient to start his honeymoon.  
  
It was Narcissa's first time, and it hurt like hell. Lucius was too rough with her, pushing to hard. When she almost screamed in pain, he slapped her. She had to keep from crying until it was done, and she hid in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and sobbed.  
  
It happened a few more times over the next week. Lucius also got very pissed off that the sheets were stained in her blood. "I'm going to have to pay for these!" he yelled, waving the sheets in her hand. "Do you have any idea how much these things cost?"  
  
"Can't you, um, use a spell to clean them?"  
  
"What the hell do I look like to you, a house elf?" he demanded, making his new wife flinch. "They'll probably add on extra to the cost, just 'cause they know I can afford it!"  
  
"Lucius, I'm sorry."  
  
"CRUCIO!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He'd already used the Unforgivable curse on her. He was a merciless man, and he took pleasure in seeing his new wife screaming in agony...  
  
"Narcissa? Narcissa!"  
  
She shot up in bed, realizing that she'd had another nightmare. She looked to see Remus Lupin sitting on her bed. "Remus?"  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned. "I heard you screaming, and-"  
  
"Oh, Remus!" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I know I should have listened to you! Marrying that man was the biggest mistake I ever made." She sobbed onto his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I always loved you Remus, and always will..." She lifted her head up, horrified at what she'd said. "Oh, God..."  
  
"Narcissa?" Remus looked at her uncertainly. "Do you really mean that?"  
  
She nodded. It was too late to turn back now. The truth had to come out. "Yes, Remus. I've been thinking about you for 20 years, always wishing that I could turn the clock back and...I wish..." She didn't know what to say now. She looked at him, expectantly. Maybe he felt the same! There was a spark of hope.  
  
"Um..." Remus was clearly uncomfortable. He stood up. "I better go back to bed now. Do you need anything?"  
  
YOU! she wanted to scream. I NEED YOU! But she didn't. She took in a deep breath and shook her head.  
  
"Good night, Narcissa." Remus gave her one last look and shut the door. Narcissa fell back on her pillow. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream. He didn't feel the same way? It wasn't fair!   
  
But then, she remembered, I'm the one who hurt him. 


	6. Their First Time

Part Six:  
  
During the next week, Narcissa tried her hardest to show how grateful she was to Remus. While he was gone "for business" (as he put it), she would slave away like a house elf, cleaning and cooking...using magic, of course, but it was the hardest work she'd ever done, even after Dobby left Malfoy Manor and they had to do for a couple of days without hired help. Remus insisted that Narcissa not do anything (mainly because her cooking wasn't very good and she had no idea how to fold laundry), but she was determined.   
  
And if Remus knew Narcissa Black-Malfoy, he knew that when she was determined to do something, she would. At least, that was the way she was before she'd left school years before. And that side of her, the reason he'd fallen in love with her, was revealing itself again.  
  
One night, Narcissa was cooking a nice dinner for while he was off doing "business". Usually, she just prepared simple dishes, but tonight she was making foods that she remembered Remus loved: veal, roasted potatoes, trifle. As she was adding layers of custard (that she'd decided to make the "Muggle way") to the trifle, she heard the front door open. She didn't have time to clean up with magic as Remus entered the kitchen. She stood up quickly to greet him. "Remus! You're...early."  
  
Remus, who'd been looking around at the mess with a curious look, turned his gaze on her. He raised an amused eyebrow. "It's nearly nine o'clock."  
  
"Nine o'clo-OH, MY GOD! THE VEAL!" Narcissa dashed to Remus's old-fashioned Muggle oven and flung it open. Black smoke came out, getting in her face and making her cough. She took her wand and used it to levitate the charred veal from the oven to the sink. She turned to Remus, who looked like he was going to laugh. She held back tears. It was ruined.  
  
Remus looked at her face and felt guilty. "Narcissa...oh, my dear, I'm sorry..." He went over to her and wrapped her in a tight hug. She sniffled into his shoulder for a second...then, suddenly, she began to laugh. Remus looked at her. "Um, Narcissa."  
  
Narcissa pulled away from him, putting her hands on his shoulders, throwing her head back and laughing. The tears in her eyes ran down her face as she laughed, almost doubling over. "Oh, my God!" she cried out between fits of laughter. "Me! Cooking! Can you believe it?"  
  
Remus was laughing now, too. "No, I can't," he choked out.  
  
Narcissa made a mock-offended noise. "I can't believe you would say that!" she cried, putting her hands on her hips. "What're you trying to say, eh?"  
  
"That you're lazy. HEY!" Remus backed up as Narcissa pointed her wand at him.  
  
"You better take that back, or you'll be on the floor as a slug." Her dark blue eyes, usually dull and lifeless, were shining. They looked just like they did the night Remus met her...  
  
He put his hand on the wand and gentely lowered it, looking into her eyes. Her smile faded. "Remus...?" She didn't say anything eles as he put his arms around her, pulling her to him, and kissed her. The kiss was long, but it was too short to Narcissa as Remus suddenly pulled away.  
  
"What's the matter?" Narcissa asked, beginning to panic. Oh, God, he doesn't care about me anymore.  
  
"It's just..." Remus turned away and stared at the charred mess in the sink. "You're...married."  
  
Narcissa let out a sharp laugh. "Lucius was never much of a husband to me, Remus," she said in a sarcastic tone. "He was more of a...slave driver." She took his arm and turned him around, looking into his eyes. "Remus, I meant what I said the other night. I never stopped loving you." Remus tried to look away, but Narcissa's eyes followed his. Her next question made him crack: "Tell me the truth, Remus: did you ever stop loving me?"  
  
"Oh, Narcissa..." Remus took her in his arms again, kissing her with even more passion then before. Somehow, they made their way to the bedroom...  
  
After it was over, Narcissa lay awake and stared at the ceiling as Remus slept, with his arms wrapped securly around her. It had finally happened: they'd had sex.  
  
Had it been over 20 years ago since they'd almost had sex that first time? Narcissa closed her eyes as the memory, the first good memory to come over her in a long, long time...  
  
It was the beginning of her seventh year, his fifth. They'd been seeing each other for over a year, much to the objection of her cousin and his friend Sirius Black. Even though they were two years apart and in separate houses (Narcissa, of course, was in Slytherin), they managed to keep their relationship strong. In fact, they were in love.  
  
But neither of them had had the guts to say it, yet. Until that fall day.  
  
It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and though they knew they should be studying for their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s, they decided to go. Well, Narcissa managed to convince a reluctant Remus to go.  
  
"Come on!" she cried as they walked down the cooridors together. "It's just for a few hours on Saturday, it's not like you'd be missing too much studying, anyway."  
  
"Yeah, but..." Remus knew he wouldn't win: his older girlfriend always got her way with him. He sighed in defeat. "Fine, fine. We'll go."  
  
Narcissa clapped her hands in delight and kissed his cheek swiftly. "You won't regret it, we'll have so much fun! See you later!"  
  
That Saturday, the couple met after breakfast at the front doors and walked down to the village, hand in hand. Narcissa spotted the back of her cousin's head in front of them, walking with Potter and the short little fat kid. Sirius turned around once, gave them an unreadable look, and turned back around. Narcissa looked at her boyfriend. "Um...if you want to hang out with your friends for now, that's okay."  
  
"No, I said I would spend the day with you," Remus said quickly, as though reading a script.   
  
Narcissa sighed. "Remus, it's ALRIGHT. Go with your boys. I'll hang out with my friends, and we'll meet up later."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Yes, Remus," she said impatiently. "GO! We'll meet at the Hog's Head at three."  
  
"Hog's Head...?" Remus had no idea why his girlfriend wanted to meet him at the seedy, shady dive.  
  
"See you!" Narcissa backtracked to find her friends, leaving Remus to try to chase down his friends.  
  
At three o'clock, Narcissa was sitting at a table with her friends, surrounded by drinks and laughter. But she was staring at the door, waiting. When Remus walked in, she jumped up to greet him, stumpling slightly as she rushed into his arms. "Remus! Hello, darling!" She gave her shocked boyfriend a hard kiss, like they only kissed in private. Narcissa's friends all clapped and cheered before Remus gentely pulled himself away. "So, what've you been up to today?" she asked, playing with the clasps on his cloak.  
  
"Um, Narcissa?" Remus carefully pulled her hands away. "Have you been drinking?"   
  
Narcissa pinched her fingers together. "Just a bit, darling, just a bit." She giggled. "Would you like some firewhiskey? Red currant rum? We've got loads!" As she turned to lead him to the table, she had to grab him to keep her balance. She cackled with laughter as he pulled her to her feet.  
  
"How did you get that stuff?" he hissed.  
  
Narcissa giggled again. "The bartender. He didn't even ask our ages or anything, just sold as anything we asked for!" She pulled his arm, trying to herd him to the crowded table. "Come on! Let's get some more!"  
  
"Narcissa, I can't. I'm a prefect."  
  
"Oh, poo!" Narcissa cried, slapping him playfully in the chest. "One ickle drinkie-poo won't kill ya, will it?" She suddenly gave him a very sexy look. "Come on, darling. Just have one drink."  
  
"Um..." He let himself be led to the table, and he sat down at the end. The people at the table were mostly sixth and seventh year Slytherins, but they were all too bombed to notice that a fifth year Gryfindor prefect was in their midst. He suddenly found a glass of red currant rum in front of him, and his girlfriend was nudging him.  
  
"Come on, it's good."   
  
Remus had had alcohol before, so downing the glass wasn't a big deal. It was a great deal stronger then anything he'd ever had at his parents' cocktail parties and cousins's weddings, but he managed to drink it with only a bit of eye watering. Narcissa clapped for him, and suddenly he found a shot of fire whiskey in front of him.  
  
Four drinks later, Remus was almost as drunk as the rest of them. As some of the drunk Slytherins made their way out of the pub and to a Potion shop to try to find a quick cure for their drunkeness before going back to school, Narcissa took his hand. "Come on," she whispered softly. "I have an idea."  
  
Depsite the fact that they were clearly students at the school, and underage (Narcissa hadn't had her seventeenth birthday yet), the innkeeper let them have a room for three sickles. Narcissa paid him and led Remus upstairs.   
  
The room was small, dark, and somewhat dingy. It had seen many other drunken couples before them. Narcissa led Remus to the bed and lay down. "Come on, darling. Let's take things a step further, shall we?"  
  
"I..." Remus watched as Narcissa striped out of her school clothes, down to nothing. She lay on the bed again, and beckoned him with one seductive finger. Come here.  
  
Remus got on top of her and started kissing her. He was ready, she was ready, they were...but Remus looked down at his girlfriend's face. She looked up at him, expectant. "Remus? What's the matter?"   
  
"I...we...can't." Remus jumped off the bed and picked up Narcissa's discarded clothing, holding it out to her. "I'm sorry, we can't do this. It's not the right time."  
  
"Oh...okay." Narcissa slowly put on her clothing as Remus rushed out of the pub, running back to school, and heading right to bed (or so Sirius later told Narcissa, who came to look for him).  
  
Narcissa lay awake now, in Remus's arms. He had been right, it hadn't been the right time back then. She'd had to wait for a long time for it to be the right moment, but now that they'd done it...  
  
"Narcissa?" Remus had woken up, and put his hand on her cheek.   
  
"Hi," she whispered. They kissed softly, then, when Narcissa put her arms around his neck, they got a little more passionate. And they did it again.  
  
And Narcissa knew that, after 20 years, that it was worth the wait. 


	7. A Better Way

Part Seven:  
  
Whenever Remus was gone for "Order business" (he was still being discreet when it came to details) or during his "time of the month" (they joked that he understood women more then any other man), Narcissa would be lonely. She was no longer afraid that her husband would come and find her: she'd found out some interesting news on that subject just the other day.  
  
Narcissa had been sitting in the small living room, reading "Witch Weekly" and waiting for Remus to come home. Usually he came in quietly and sat down next to her, but today her came in shouting.  
  
"Narcissa!" Startled, she ran out into the front hall to greet him. He was grinning. "You'll never guess what I found out at the meeting."  
  
"I can hardly wait," she said sarcastically, taking his discarded cloak and hanging it up. "And honestly, Remus, if you can't learn to pick up your things-"  
  
"Forget about cleaning!" he cried. "I just found out some news about the Azkaban breakout that's-"  
  
"Oh, God." Narcissa had to put a hand on the wall to keep from falling over. Had they escaped? Was HE coming to find her? She knew he would kill her.  
  
"Narcissa?" Remus's smile vanished, and he grabbed her to keep her from falling. "Darling, it's alright. It's been delayed."  
  
"For how long?" She still felt faint.  
  
"I'm not sure," Remus admitted. "But the Ministry is actually cooperating with us. They don't completely trust the dementors, so they've come up with new ways, BETTER ways, to guard the prison."   
  
Narcissa knew better then to ask what those "better ways" were. All she cared about now was that Lucius wasn't coming to get her. "So, the Death Eaters might never get out," she whispered hopefully.  
  
Remus nodded. "Everything's going to be alright. And it's all because of you."  
  
She looked surprised. "It is?"  
  
Remus nodded. "You told us about the planned breakout, and we took it to the Ministry. Well, they had no choice but to believe us, right? I mean, there was that other breakout just a few months ago..." Remus stopped: talking about the previous breakout made Narcissa feel embarressed. He knew that her older sister was in it.  
  
"Well..." Narcissa stepped away from him. "Wow. That's so fantastic." She wasn't sure what to say now. "So...are you on duty tonight?" She led him into the living room and they sat down.  
  
Remus shook his head. "Not until Tuesday." That was four days away. Four nights with Remus...the thought immediatly made Narcissa feel better.  
  
"Good," she said softly, and Remus couldn't help but smile. He knew what was on her mind. And whether there was sex or not, they would be together all of those four nights. Whenever Remus was around, the nightmares of the past were gone.  
  
For awhile, they resumed their evening ritual: she read her magazine, he read the "Daily Prophet". Narcissa was impatient for the clock to finally strike 10: at that time, they would make their way to the bedroom...  
  
But it was only 9:27 when she checked the dusty old Grandfather clock, so Narcissa decided to read some more of her magazine to distract herself. She came across an article entitled: HELP! MY CHILD HATES ME!, talking about a witch whose wizard son resented her. And Narcissa couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Remus didn't notice her crying at first, until he looked at her from the top of his paper as he did every so often. He did a double take when he saw the glittering tears on her face. "Narcissa? What is it?"  
  
Narcissa sniffed, embarressed that she had been caught. "Oh...nothing, darling," she said, trying to laugh it off. "Just an article in here, um..." She couldn't stop Remus from taking the magazine from her hands, and looking at the article. She felt stupid for keeping it open to that page.  
  
Remus looked at her when he finished scanning the article. "Oh, Narcissa..."  
  
"I know," she said, still faking a laugh, as she snatched the article from him. She placed it carefully on the coffee table. "I'm just being-"  
  
"Don't say that," Remus said sharply. "You're not being anything." He put his arm around her. "Narcissa, your son didn't hate you."  
  
Her fake laughing stop as she looked into the eyes of the man she loved. "I know," she said slowly. "But...I think he could have, do you know what I mean?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Like father, like son, right?"  
  
Narcissa smiled grimly. "I could see that he hated Lucius. But he also had a lot of respect for him. I...think he was going to be like him."  
  
Remus had to agree. "I saw that in him when I taught him."  
  
"Oh, he hated you." They laughed together, then Narcissa stopped quickly. "I miss my son."  
  
"I know." Remus didn't know how he could comfort her. He didn't know what it was like to be a grieving parent: he could never have children of his own.   
  
Narcissa sighed. "It broke my heart to look at him. Turning more and more into his father by the day. But still," she said sadly, "I wish I hadn't of killed him."  
  
"It was an accident, Narcissa," Remus said again, just as he had when they first met up a month before. "You mustn't blame yourself. Personally, I think it's all Lucius's fault."  
  
"Well, he won't see it that way," Narcissa said grimly.  
  
Remus smiled at her. "Who cares how he sees it? He'll be in Azkaban for a long, long time."  
  
Narcissa felt comforted by these words. But she wished she could fully believe them. 


	8. Self Defense

Part Eight:  
  
Even though Remus told her that she was safe, Narcissa still felt worried. The Ministry wasn't perfect: as the wife of a Death Eater, she knew that. When they tripped up, the planned escapees would find their way out...  
  
One afternoon, Narcissa couldn't take it anymore. She was looking at her wand, just sort of examining it. She remembered how she'd been using it all of her life: first for school, then to help out with house chores at Malfoy Manor. She'd never used it to protect herself, but...wasn't that what if was for? The problem was, of course, that Narcissa didn't know how to duel. Lucius had bullied her for years, and she'd never learned how to defend herself. But she knew that if he found her, she'd have to do something...or he would kill her.  
  
Narcissa, carrying her wand, went out of her room (that she now shared with Remus most nights) and walked down the hall. Remus was sitting in a chair, reading the newspaper. Narcissa knew that he was going away to an Order meeting tonight, and possibly even a mission. It was now or never...  
  
She cleared her throat to maker her presence known. Remus looked up at her over the top of his paper. "Oh, hello," he said lightly. He gestured to the paper. "Did you want to see any of this? I'm nearly done."  
  
"Um, no." Narcissa sat down. "I actually wanted to ask you something."  
  
Remus put the paper down on the coffee table. "Okay. What is it?"  
  
Narcissa swallowed and smiled. "Well...you know how to duel, right?" She knew the answer to that, of course: she'd seen him duel in school before. With his friends, mostly, as "practice" he said.  
  
"Yes. What do you need, Narcissa?"  
  
"Could, um, could you teach me?"  
  
Remus stared blankly at her. "Teach you how to duel, you mean?"  
  
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "No, teach me how to knit. YES, you idiot, teach me how to duel."  
  
"Don't know why I should, if you're going to verbally abuse me." He said it jokingly, but he saw the perfectly serious expression on Narcissa's face. "What do you need to learn how to duel for?"  
  
Narcissa sighed. "Look, I know what you said about Azkaban: that it's being well guarded, that there's no possible escape. But you know as well as I do that anything's possible." She was referring, of course, to her late cousin, who'd been the first person to ever escape from the prison. And that was before the dementors abandoned it.  
  
Remus couldn't disagree. "No, that's true..." he said slowly. "But-"  
  
"IF Lucius were to escape AND manage to find me..." Narcissa took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, I'd like to know how to defend myself."  
  
Remus looked thoughtful. "Well, you make a good case."  
  
"So, you'll teach me?"  
  
Remus nodded. "Alright, alright, Narcissa. If this is really what you want-"  
  
"It's not that I want to," Narcissa said calmly. "It's that I need to."  
  
Back in Narcissa's school days, there hadn't been a dueling club to teach even the basics to the students. Many students learned from older brothers and sisters. Narcissa had just never bothered, and now she wished she had.  
  
Right away, Remus taught her the Disarment spell. Narcissa managed to get Remus's wand out of his reach, but she didn't get it into her hands.  
  
"But that helps a lot," Remus said cheerfully. "Even if you can get your enemy's wand away from a second, you've got the upperhand."  
  
As time went on, Narcissa also learned the Stunning Spell, Body-Bind, and the Slug-Spitting Spell. "It may seem juvenile," Remus said after he tested it on a stray cat, "but it really is effective. Really throws them off."  
  
Narcissa was looking forward to learning more, but Remus didn't seem to eager to teach. "You've got enough for now," he promised her. "Those few spells could save your life." Then he felt stupid for saying that, as if suggesting that her life was in danger in the first place.  
  
No news of a breakout was in the "Daily Prophet" (Narcissa checked every morning), and after nearly a month, it seemed to Narcissa that she really was safe from Lucius. But she would still practice the simple curses she knew. It helped her to sleep better at night when she was alone. Slowly, those old nightmares began to fade away...  
  
She still hated being alone in the evenings when Remus went to Order meetings. He had been saying, before he left, that he would try to convince the others to let her join. "It's not like you were an actual Death Eater, anyway. And you could get information from those women you know..." Narcissa wasn't holding her breath, though: she knew that her niece Nymphadora would ralley against her.  
  
So Narcissa sat alone, waiting for Remus to come home. She read some magazines and even glanced at some of Remus's dusty old volumes that lined the shelves. But the books didn't hold her interest. And, having stayed up late the night before with Remus, she was feeling very tired. Eventually, she stretched herself out across the couch, with her wand securely in hand, and dozed.  
  
The sound of the slamming door woke her an hour later. She sat up quickly. "Remus?" she called. She heard footsteps in the front hall. She decided to go out to greet him. She got up and walked out there, intending to greet her lover with a kiss before taking him to bed.   
  
As she turned the corner to the front hall, she found the tip of a very familiar wand pointed at her face. Behind it was the face of her sneering husband. "Hello, Narcissa," he hissed. 


	9. Murderer

Part Nine:  
  
"Lucius!" Narcissa took a step back. Her husband was back? But how...?  
  
As if he read her mind, Lucius gave her a vicious smile. "You thought I was tucked away, eh? Thought you were safe with the Ministry guarding Azkaban?" His tone was mocking, as was the hollow laugh that followed.  
  
"Lucius, I-"  
  
The wand tip came closer to her face. Narcissa took another step back as her husband spoke again:  
  
"Well, well, well. My wife. I've only been gone for a few months, and look what's become of you: a pyromaniac, murderer, traitor...halfbreed-lover."  
  
"He's here," Narcissa lied. "He's going to-"  
  
"Oh, shut up," Lucius said sharply. "I know where he is, and it's not here. No," Lucius said, the evil smile spreading across his face, "we're alone."  
  
"You...you stay the hell away from me, or-"  
  
"Or you'll what, Narcissa? You may have been able to kill our son-"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"You're a murderer, Narcissa," Lucius said calmly. "But don't worry, dear. The Dark Lord will make sure that you're properly punished."  
  
Narcissa had managed to back up into the living room at this time. Lucius looked around, his trademark Malfoy sneer on his face. As he did, Narcissa managed to grab her wand out of her pocket and hold it up. "Get out, or I'll use this."  
  
Lucius laughed in her face. "Going to duel with me, wife?"  
  
"No, I will, though."  
  
Lucius turned around to see a really pissed-off Remus, wand in hand. "What're you doing in my house, Malfoy?"  
  
"I've come to claim my property, werewolf," Lucius said with a sneer, "and you better not try to stop me."  
  
"She's not your property," Remus said, with the same cold calmness as Lucius. But his face was turning red with anger. "And you're not going to hurt her anymore." He pointed his wand at the other man. "Even if I have to kill you."  
  
"NO!"  
  
Both men looked at Narcissa in surprise, who still had her wand pointed at her husband. "Narcissa?" Remus looked surprised. "What're you doing?"  
  
"You're not going to fight my battles for me," Narcissa said sharply. She gave her husband a cold look. "I'll kill him myself."  
  
"Narcissa, you can't!"  
  
Narcissa pushed the tip of her wand closer to her husband's surprised face. "Watch me," she hissed.  
  
Lucius laughed again, and Narcissa felt a powerful urge to shove her wand up his nose. "Fine," he said finally. "If you want to get yourself killed, that's fine with me...we'll duel."  
  
"Narcissa," Remus said in a panic-filled voice, "I won't let you."  
  
"IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE!" she screamed. "This is MY FIGHT! I'm going to do this, Remus, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" She looked at her husband again. "We'll meet in our back yard."  
  
"Narcissa, you can't-" But she didn't hear the rest of her lover's protest as she Apparated. She arrived in the back yard of what used to be Malfoy Manor. She heard a loud BANG, and Lucius Apparated beside her.  
  
"Ready?" Lucius said with mock courtesy.  
  
"More ready then I've ever been."  
  
Narcissa knew duel procedures: the bow, ect. As soon as they had their wands drawn, Lucius started to shout something that sounded oddly like "cru". But Narcissa was too fast for him:  
  
"Petrifutus Totalus!" she screamed. The spell worked: Lucius's arms and legs all snapped together, and he fell to the ground. Narcissa knew that the spell wouldn't last for too long, so she had to think fast.  
  
Suddenly, she spotted something sticking out of Lucius's robes. His dagger, with the Malfoy family crest on the handle. Narcissa hated that thing: although he'd never used it on her, he'd brandished it in front of her face in a threatening way before. In a fight once, he'd even thrown it at her, missing her head by inches as it made a permanate hole in the bedroom wall. Narcissa knew that, if she ever wanted to feel safe again, she'd have to act fast.   
  
She snatched the dagger from his robes. He stared at her: not in fear, but as if daring her to use it. Narcissa hesitated, staring at the knife's silver handle. Could she really do it? Could she really murder someone?  
  
Oh, what the hell, she thought. I already have.  
  
And with that, she pludged the knife through Lucius's heart. There was no scream, due to the curse: he couldn't even twist in pain. But Narcissa could see the pain in Lucius's cold, grey eyes.  
  
Narcissa didn't stab him again, but she didn't stay to watch him die. She put the knife in her pocket and, with one last look at her husband, whispered, "Goodbye."  
  
And Disapparated. 


	10. Finally Free

Part Ten:  
  
When Narcissa Disapperated back to Remus's, she found him in the living room, where she'd left him. He was sitting on the couch, but he stood up as soon as she came in. "Narcissa!" he cried, rushing to her. But she held up her hands to stop him, and he gasped. "Oh, my God, what-"  
  
Narcissa looked down at her hands. One held the silver dagger, and both were covered in blood. Remus stopped and examined her. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes," she managed to gulp out. She was busy staring at her hands. Stained in her husband's blood.  
  
"You killed him?" he whispered. She barely heard him. She managed to nod.  
  
Remus's gaze turned to the dagger. "You should get rid of that." Narcissa nodded and went back to her bedroom. Ignoring the fact that her hands were covered in blood, she dug through her trunk. At the bottom, she found what she was looking for: an old wooden box. It was a Muggle music box. Narcissa stood up and opened it. A ballerina wearing a torn and yellowed skirt twirled jerkily to the tinkling music. The box, she knew, had belonged to her grandmother.   
  
But it was what was inside the box that interested Narcissa more. The Malfoy jewels. Necklaces, earrings, bracelets of gold, diamonds, silver, and other jewels glinted at her. She hadn't looked at them since the night of a Malfoy party, so long ago...  
  
Narcissa threw the dagger inside and slammed the box shut. She turned towards the door to find Remus in the doorway, giving her a curious look. "I have a plan," she said quickly, before rushing past him. She hurried to the kitchen, out the back door, down the hill...  
  
On the outskirts of Remus's backyard was a large stream. Sometimes Narcissa liked to go outside and look at it. She'd even been in it a couple of times, pulling the legs of her Muggle pants up and climbing in. But that hadn't kept her from getting her clothing wet: the stream had gone up to her waist. Narcissa stood at the bank of the stream, watching the way the moon (nearly full), danced on the water. She gave the box, full of things she hated, one last look.  
  
Then she threw it in the water.  
  
She didn't know that Remus was standing behind her until he put his hands on her shoulders. "Do you want to go inside now, darling?"  
  
"No, not yet." Narcissa knelt down at the edge of the stream and stuck her hands in. She let the gentle flowing of the water slowly wash Lucius's blood from her hands. When the were finally clean, she stood up and turned around to face her lover, who'd been standing there watching her.   
  
"I killed him."  
  
"I know," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "But it's okay."  
  
"I know it is," she whispered, burying her head in his shoulder. "I think he wanted me to."  
  
There was a silence for a few minutes as Remus held Narcissa close to him. Finally, Narcissa took her head off of his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "Remus," she whispered, "I'm finally free." 


End file.
